Our oldest daughter just finished her junior year and our youngest child his last year of preschool. Lately she has been this reminder of how fast times goes and how soon she will be leaving the nest.
When my son goes off to kindergarten, it will be the first time in 12 years someone has not been home with me. I am missing this security of feeling useful and needed. I know I am still both but with each of the kids it is in different ways and it changes year to year. I thought I was happy for this knew faze of my life and for my children's lives but I am realizing I seem to be struggling to let go of what has been my role since I first became a mom. It seems to change every few years and this time the adjustment seems a little harder.
I have given all I am to being a mom and have just started doing things for myself and remembering who I am again. The end of the school year reminds me again how important it is to do things for me as well as the kids. I have finally given myself permission to have something in my life that is mine and mine alone.
I love summer vacation, I love having the kids home everyday. I love letting go of the responsibilities of homework, lunches and activities. I am sure in August I will feel a bit different but for now I am going to treasure each and everyone of my children this summer. The plus of having children at such different ages is that it is a great reminder to me to enjoy every minute. Not take a second for granted. Even though it is a little tougher than I thought I am going to go into this next faze grateful for every second I have had with our children so far. I wouldn't trade a minute of it for anything!
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