Summer Memories

Summer vacation is the time to relax, rejuvenate and renew. Today as I was sitting on my porch enjoying the warm and breezy day, it reminded me of long ago summer days and growing up in Wisconsin.

I grew up in a very small town. It had about 200 people with 2 bars, a church and a general store. As kids we would spend our days swimming in the local pond and tubing down the river behind our house. We would ride our bikes all over without a care in the world. We left the house first thing in the morning returning only for lunch and dinner. Every Saturday night was bath night and on Sunday mornings we went to church. My mom always cooked a huge breakfast after church and Sunday was always just for family.

Memorial Day started off summer with a parade honoring the veterans. There were church picnics, Fourth of July baseball tournaments and a week vacation at my grandparents house 3 hours away. Labor day weekend marked the end of summer with the town corn roast.

I loved helping my grandmother who lived down the road with her garden and canning. The perk was getting to eat her homemade bread right from the oven. It was the best when the butter just melted onto it. My grandma made everything from scratch, even the butter.

Spending the day at the lake, family reunions, summer drives and going out for ice cream. Lighting our own fireworks display in our driveway, catching fireflies, summer storms and enjoying the rainbow afterwards. I love how happy these memories make me. They are what pull at me each summer to go back home to feel free and live easy again. I love how thoughts of those days can renew me. No matter how far away you go, there is nothing like childhood thoughts to soothe the soul. My wish for my children is when they are grown and gone, they will have some of their own happy memories to go to as well.

Who I Am?

I love being home with my kids and I am so grateful it is something I am able to do. This past year though, I have felt in a rut. I haven't been as happy as I have been in the past. I don't feel as fulfilled being home with my children and seeing to their needs. Sometimes I want to yell "what about me"! Somewhere along the line I forgot who I am. I feel like I have been asleep these last couple of years and now that I am waking up, I am realizing I matter too.

I started writing this blog to try and find myself again. I hope to remember what I like and what I used to do for fun. I haven't written in awhile and I think it's because a part of me is afraid to know. I am safe where I am, it has been a comfortable place for a long time and it is scary to even think about leaving my safety zone. I took on this role to be a mom and got so focused on being the best that I lost myself somewhere along the way.

I want to feel free and spontaneous again. I want to be the girl who believed anything was possible. I want to laugh for no reason. I want to explore new and different places and try new things.

When our youngest graduates high school, I want to be there feeling proud that even though I was a stay at home mom that I was still living my life to the fullest and being the authentic person I was made to be. Hopefully this journey of discovery will help me get to that point.